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      您现在的位置:主页 > 情感 > 恋爱宝典 > 选择婚前住进婆家的姑娘,大多都会遇到这三种结局

      选择婚前住进婆家的姑娘,大多都会遇到这三种结局

      今天中午,和最好的朋友吵了一架。其实,她今天找我出来,是要告诉我她怀孕了,本来是一件值得开心的事情,可我却一点都没法开心的祝福她,因为她根本没有结婚。

      我的好朋友是个92年的小美女,大学毕业以后自己学了烘焙开起了私人工作室,生意一直都不错。她大学谈了一个男朋友,毕业以后和别人合伙开起了游戏工作室,帮人代练和刷金币,每天忙的日夜颠倒,不怎么回家,但却也没什么收入。

      就在这样的情况下,她不知道着了什么魔,稀里糊涂的住进了婆婆家,我问她是怎么想的,她说男朋友忙,两个人偶尔见面,在婆婆家更方便,再说,反正迟早要住进去,还不如早一点。

      我对于这样的想法完全无法理解,我更是不支持她还没结婚就住进婆家这样的行为。首先,作为一个女孩子,该有的矜持要有,你还没有结婚就住进婆家,会让婆家人看低你。其次,你们的未来还都没有定,有一辈子可以腻歪在一起,何必急这一时半刻。最后,如果他真的那么想和你住在一起,那就快点结婚啊,为什么要搞乱这个次序。

      可是她完全不听我劝说,住进去以后还美滋滋的说未来婆婆对自己特别好,不让自己做家务,每天早上自己都可以睡到自然醒,起床还有早饭吃。

      我无言以对,只能默默祝福。可是最近一段时间,她突然变得很惆怅,时常对我说,男友一直不提结婚的事情,婆家之前说的买房子现在也一直停留在看的阶段,这一切都让她觉得很难受。

      我劝她还是搬出来,可她就是不愿意,就在这个节骨眼上,她又怀了孕。

      我问她男友和婆家的什么态度,她说男友说:“你身体不好,就生下来吧,要不然对身体更不好。”婆婆说:“恩,生吧。”

      我问她,没有了?她说,没有了。

      呵呵,这算是什么态度?什么叫做“就”生下来吧,感觉那么不情愿?那么婚礼呢?房子呢?以后怎么办呢?这些都不要谈吗?

      她摇摇头说不知道,眼看着肚子一天天大起来,对方不提,自己更是不好提,现在是进退两难,骑虎难下。

      我恨铁不成钢的看着她,那么早就劝她赶紧离开,可她就是不愿意,在这种平和的假象里开心到不行。真的负责任的男人,不会让你什么名分都没有就住进他家里,真的想接纳你做媳妇的婆家,也不会什么都不做就让你随随便便住进他们家里。

      他们之所以会这样做,无非就是觉得,反正我儿子不吃亏。既然都有了这样的想法,那你觉得你自己的解决会有多好?

      我真的见过太多这样的悲剧,很多姑娘根本没有想过,从她们无名无分轻率住进婆家的那一天,她们就已经处于弱势了。

      当然,我们也不能这么笃定的去说,我身边也会有婚前在婆家住,但最后还算幸福的事例,可是啊,真的不多。

      所以,我还是想告诉所有的姑娘,如果你选择在婚前就住进婆家,那你就要想到,你的结局无外乎就是这三种。

      第一种,不结婚,就装死

      我一直是抗拒结婚前住进婆婆家的,一方面我觉得距离产生美,另一方面我也不想像我的朋友这样失去婚姻里的主动权。

      说真的,你在还没有尘埃落定的时候就住进婆家,那么别人看轻你也不是没有原因,你都没有把自己看的多贵重,凭什么要求别人尊重你?

      有些女孩会说,我住过去是为了方便,为了磨合,为了适应。呵呵,姑娘啊,别找借口了,这些都不是你提前住进婆家的理由,只是你没有信心想要抓住这段感情,或者说懒惰的不想为自己负责的一种表现。

      我一直说,婚前要去了解对方的原生家庭,但你也要给自己留有后路,你都已经住了进去,就算发现了问题,你能怎样去解决?

      吃人嘴软拿人手短,这句话真的一点都没错。我见过太多住进婆家好久好久,对方就是装死,就是不提出结婚,直到最后你都怀孕了,对方还是支支吾吾的样子。

      你知道吗,他们知道自己已经吃定你了,知道你无路可退了,他们在一点点摧毁你的骄傲,等着你低头。

      姑娘啊,这样的感情,是你想要的吗?这样的婚姻,能够幸福吗?我真的希望你不要让自己走到这一步,陷入这种困境之中。

      第二种,没有婚礼,没有新房,什么都没有

      这种情况,我觉得是大多婚前住进婆家的姑娘最终的结局。因为大多婆家能够让你住进去,也不只是为了占你便宜,还算是同意你成为他们家的一份子。

      可是你知道吗,婚姻是一场博弈,幸福的前提是势均力敌,在结婚的过程中,婚礼怎么办,新房谁家买,装修、车子、酒席、彩礼......这些问题,都是需要商量的。

      如果你已经在婚前住进了婆家,那么你就已经失去了谈判的大半资本,不管谈到什么,对方都会说:“婚礼就不要办了吧,太麻烦了,反正都这么久了,先领证吧,其他一切都缓缓。”“房子先不买了吧,一时半会也买不到合适的,反正你们也住习惯了,先住着吧。”“都已经住一起这么久了,我们还会亏待你吗?彩礼这些就算了吧,反正都是一家人,左口袋进右口袋而已,不走这形式了。”

      这样的时候,你又能怎么办?你失去了为自己争取权益的话语权,房子车子婚礼彩礼,你就只能通通舍弃。

      你觉得你委屈,可是你又能怪谁?

      我想告诉你,更多的苦和难,可能还在后面,毕竟从一开始,他们就已经慢待了你,往后余生,又怎么可能更珍惜?

      第三种,好好待你,好好爱你

      当然,我身边也的确有婚前住进了婆家,最后结局不错的。菲菲是远嫁,婚前就去到了男友家乡工作,婆家不放心她一个人住,就建议说直接住到家里,反正家里还有单独的房间。

      菲菲有点犹豫,在男友的再三邀请下,决定去住几天看看。住进去的第一天,婆婆就和她聊了结婚的事情,说既然决定要一直在一起,那么就好好生活,把结婚的事情提上日程。菲菲看着婆婆的态度,也就慢慢放下了心,于是就安心住了下来。

      菲菲也是个很懂事的女孩,也会在工作之余做自己力所能及的家务,对待公婆的态度,也是足够恭敬,但不卑不亢。

      就这样相安无事的处了几个月,婆婆提出了给两个人买房,定下结婚的日子,菲菲和老公也正式领了结婚证。

      这世上不是所有的人都是坏人,但是也不是每个人都有这个幸运遇到好人,很多时候,我们能做的,是最大程度的保护自己,而不是对他人的品性怀有期待。

      当你有了足够的底气以后,你才不会想要刻意去讨好什么,也只有这样,你才能得到他人的尊重。

      菲菲是遇到了不错的人家,但是我觉得菲菲自身也做的不错,所以姑娘啊,任何时候,都要爱自己。

      选择在婚前住进婆家的姑娘,可能是有很多的理由,但如果你要是问我,我的建议就是不要,很坚定的不要。很多事情都可以来日方长,没必要这么早把自己交付出去。

      如果你已经决定要这样做,那就好好保护自己,并且尽可能的保持距离,把伤害降到最低

      TAG:大多 婆家 到这 都会 住进 三种 姑娘 结局 选择 婚前 ★★★ 友情提示:点击图片可进入下一页 ★★★
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